Sunday, September 23, 2012

New Life; No worries

Everything needs to be so official. Wise words, a firm structure. I'm struggling lately, trying to find out who I am. No one mentioned how hard this was going to be..

A happy face. This isn't the place to breakdown. Strong words. You can only speak with complete certainty. With so much inconsistency, how can I be certain of anything? The list of guidelines continues to grow. I'm trying so hard to make the cut. I just want to be respected as an individual. I will not go so far as to change my moral mindset to get what I want, but I'm struggling to find the in-between. Is there an in-between?

I am young. I have my entire life ahead of me. There's so much potential, they keep telling me. As I get older, I am recognizing more and more negativity that somehow passed me by as a child. I never knew how much hate there was in the world. Innocent lives taken, accidents, nothing can truly be apprehended. God hit me hard. 

I can't say for certain where I was, or what exactly I was doing. What I know is that my entire mindset was shifted backwards completely. My heart began to ache for so many people.. It was like I gained this immense sense of sympathy in my soul. I didn't know.. I didn't recognize the impact of my words before. I didn't know she was listening to the words I spoke; I never knew she regarded me as some form of role-model. All I knew was that I was getting so tired of playing a role I was never made to be. I had worked so hard to create this person.. this girl who was tough, sarcastic, and rarely showed what she really felt. I strayed away from talking about God so openly- in attempt to avoid any conflict. She was fine. I was fine. I made a lot of friends, who all had differing beliefs. I worked hard to remain neutral. I knew God, in my heart. But I figured that was for my heart only. 

Something wasn't right. He knew it, too. God hit me hard. 

An epiphany hit me. My heart longed to read my bible.. I wanted to talk about some of the things I never really understood. It was a transformation I could have never foreseen. It was beautiful.. Like the words that I read were directed toward me personally. The Bible verse that stuck with me the most, in the beginning, was Matthew 6:34. No worries.. No worries? How do you take that? If someone would have come up to me during the earlier years of my life and told me not to worry, I would have assumed they were insane. It seemed nearly impossible to not worry. School, friends, all of the worries of a teenage mind.. and No worries? It stuck with me, though. I found a peace greater than just a worry-less mind. It was a worry-less soul. God hit me hard. 

I can explain the revival I went through. It was an intense passion that made my entire being ache for the presence of God. It made me question how it was so easy for me to breathe before knowing God so intimately.. How did I live so comfortably? The answer to that question is simple. I didn't. I was uncertain, broken, and so very lonely. 

God has brought me so many opportunities in my life. A Bible study at my school, an amazing youth group and church when I was growing up, and amazing group of people I would not trade the world for. I have grown up now (for the most part ;)) and my perspective on life has changed completely. I fear God instead of the stupid worries of this world. I have this confident hope that there is a greater place in which I will truly belong. I have placed my life and everything I am into Greater Hands. I know that with God things will not necessarily be easier, but they sure will be worth it. I live my life with a greater purpose, because I have realized this life isn't my own. There's this bigger picture, and it's beautiful. There's this greater love, and it never fails. I will not be abandoned. I am forgiven. 

So today, I will love. I will live in complete and utter awe toward the One and only God who Lives, Loves, forgives, and who saves. 

Awake, Alive, and Blessed. I have all I need.<3
Praise God, keeper of my heart. 
Psalm 27:4 :) 

Saturday, September 22, 2012


This has been on my heart lately..

We live in a chaotic world. Is there any other way to truly put it? This world.. is not a healthy place to live. God says that we, as His children, are fearfully and wonderfully made. Each of is unique in respect to the mind of the Creator. We each have a unique purpose..

If every one of us is made with our own uniqueness and speciality, why then do we judge others?
Take one second and think about it. How easy has it become for each of us to judge another person? Whether it is by occupation, lifestyle, appearance, etc. We judge people constantly. It seems almost impossible to not judge someone.

Why do we judge people? I think it's because we work so hard as individuals to create an image of who we want to be personally, and any other individual that does not measure up for the standards we've set for ourself fits perfectly to be judged. Is that fair to say? If you hate your haircut, will you not look at the hair of others and judge it based upon your ideal of 'good hair'? They same can be said for people. If you are not happy with your heart, or the place it is in, you will find yourself constantly judging other people and their own relationships with their hearts.

Matthew7:1-5 says: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye', when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

So what does this mean to us? How can we accept other people for who they are?
The answer to this is: we can accept who other people are the moment we learn to accept who we are. 

How can you accept you for who you are?
The answer to this one is simple enough: We can accept who we are when we accept who God is and who we are through Him.

One last Bible verse I found to be extremely relevant to this topic is:

John8:14-18-"These claims are valid even though I make them about myself. For I know where I come from and where I am going, but you don't know this about me. You judge me by human standards, but I do not judge anyone. And if I did, my judgement would be correct in every respect because I am not alone. The Father who sent me is with me. Your own law says that id two people agree about something, their witness is accepted as a fact."

We need to determine whether or not we are judging people based upon our human standards, or if we are leaving the judgement up to God.

Every person has a heart. They have a soul, and God loves them. They were made fearfully and wonderfully. They have purpose. So any judgments against them should be reconsidered. We all sin the same. It is not a scale of better or worse. We are among our equals. We worship this amazing God who loves us past everything we are not. Why waste our time together by judgement?

Amen and God bless, brothers and sisters!
Peace be with you always. :)

Saturday, September 15, 2012


I'm falling.
I've hit the ground.
I just need to turn it all around.
Close my eyes,
Trust the Light.
I'm following,
Knees on the ground.
You help me turn my life around.
One direction,
I might fall once or twice.
But on the ground,
You'll find me there.
You're the Light.
I'll follow Your way.
Thank You.

Praise God. :)
Isaiah 25:9 <3

I Could Have Been One of Them; You are Holy.

Sometimes I try to imagine what it was like way back when.
I close my eyes and think about the way it was.
I see You around, and I don't know what to think.
They spit on You when You're on Your knees.
Suddenly, I am so sick.
My life is so sick.
They say Your name..
Telling me You can heal,
But I don't know.
They always gather around; surrounding mere fishing boats.
I gain some faith.
I just need to touch Your robe.
You'll heal me, I know.
I turn around..
My hands are stained by Christian blood.
I'm moving with the benefit of my own gain.
You find me.
Drop it all and follow Me, You say.
I do.
I trust You.
Part of the crowd, we're all surrounding You now.
You speak of seeds and farmers.
But what about God!
So now You've found me.
I am following You.
You tell me You must leave.
Why must You leave?
I'm following YOU!
But You'll return and be new.
I don't understand, but I trust.
Next thing you know, they hand me the money
I give them Your very own name.
You promised You'd leave me,
They promised wealth..
I gave in.
I led them up the hill.
Kissing Your cheek, I watch them arrest You
They take You away.
I taste the bread of Your body lingering on the edge of my tongue,
With the wine of Your blood.
I swore to You I'd stay with You until the end..
But the rooster crowed, and I lost my way.
It was me who spit on You as You dragged the wooden cross
On Your bare back.
Standing there, I found it to be my own voice shouting
'Crucify Him'.
And so they did.
But You rose.
Looking above my roman uniform, I finally recognized You, the Son.
I'm Mary.
Weeping for my Son.
The words stumble out of my mouth as I plead to
Properly bury You.
My Joseph hands carefully wrap Your earthly body.
It's Sunday, and You have risen.
I don't recognize You as You come back.
I fall to my knees at Your name, and I see Your face.
Now I'm imprisoned; writing so many letters.
You've called me to be here, to do this.
Defying the Roman rule.
I'm dreaming of the end.
White robes, trumpets, beasts, salvation.
I close my eyes. I see Your face. You hold my hand, and You take my apologies. You replace the sin with Grace. I give You my heart, and You take me home.

God Bless. :) 
Psalm 42:2 

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


When all else fails.. there's still God.

Cliche to say this? Maybe. But I believe it wholeheartedly. I know that I still have such a long way to go on my journey of life. There are a lot of things God still has for me that I have yet to meet. 

It hit me today as I was driving to school. A realization I've had a few times before. I was taking in all of the elements of the beautiful morning as I drove past people, places, and other fellow drivers. I realized that today is truly its own. Tomorrow will be much different, and the proceeding as well. It made me wonder how many times I simply let a day pass me by. God made each day unique.. Every day has a new purpose. This realization was not a sorrowful one, but instead a very insightful epiphany. 

We have the power to make an impression on the lives of people around us. God has given us the gift of speech.. of writing. There are so many outlets to which we can express the love of God. I was made to love in this day, for this day, and by this day. I'm embracing the gifts I have been given, and praising the Lord our God that there are so many positive things in this life. Times may be hard, and God knows we will struggle. There will be wars, political disputes, natural disasters, unexplained and undeserved murders, and so so many unkind actions. A lot of things don't make sense to us.. We progress through each day, and after something tragic occurs, we learn to pick ourselves up and let the wound scab over. But deep down, there's always a hole in our hearts full of spite for or against someone or something. Once we find God...... When we seek Him.... Can you even explain it to another person? The fire? The second you find yourself on your knees admitting everything you've never been able to accomplish. The lowest of lows. The top of humiliation. The moment you hate your heart, the words you've spoken, the mistakes you made. And suddenly, in the midst of the heavy storm of your absolute hopelessness, a wave of peace finds you. It's like you don't want to speak to anyone, because you feel so naive and peaceful. You just feel it. You understand; you realize how you've been forgiven. It's an immense relief, knowing what grace is.. I hope every person can experience this. God draws near to us, especially when we lose the motivation to move on a little further. 

So here we are, in this day.. This day we might unconsciously take for granted. Here we are, with a purpose burning in our hearts. Today is the day. God is moving. Revival is beginning. Praise our God on high for being everything we will never be. Holy is the Lord who has redeemed our lives; who gives us new lives, solely in the name of Love. 
God Bless. :) 


Monday, September 10, 2012

I'm Missing Something..

Moving around each day. Life moves on pretty fast.
We pass a lot of faces, everyday.
One person after another.
Disregard, we've all got somewhere we're going.
We're all going, somewhere.
Somewhere, each face is a person.
I did not mean to disregard,
I only intended to reach the place in which I
Was going.
I passed a lot of faces, today.
There wasn't much to say.
We all moved in one swift motion,
Passing each other by.
One face; Amazing Grace.
Did I recognize?
Or simply pass it by?
It was not my intention to disregard.
I'm only trying to make it, somewhere.
Moving around everyday.
Somewhere is coming fast.
We're all going,
But some of us are a little unaware.
With good intention, I'll take in the details
Of every passing face.
Because of Amazing grace,
We're all connected by heart.
We're all marching on,
To somewhere. <3

God Bless! :)
1John3:16 <3