Saturday, June 28, 2014

I Wonder What You See in Me

Sorry for all of the posts all at once. You see, I'm one of those people who start a million things, and sometimes forget to tie the ends of all the projects I have began. So I am attempting to funnel my sixteen thousand blogs into one. :)

Bear with me.

Wherever you are right now, close your eyes. Listen. It honestly doesn't matter where you are because there's a high chance you're listening to what I'm about to discuss. If you're all alone in the quiet right now, think about the last conversation you had with someone.

I'm thinking about what I heard at work a few days ago. The casual conversation I walked past in class. The words that a friend and I shared. Gossip. They say we talk about other people to make ourselves feel better. Have you had someone talk about you? Well chances are, unless you live in the woods by yourself ( I don't know how you're reading this) you have been spoken about.

This has been something I've realized I need to work on. When I was in high school, in order to make friends, you were supposed to agree, or at least listen to one friend bash on another. You know that feeling when your heart is shattered, your soul feels broken, and all they can do is stare? When the people you trusted turned on you. The exposed you to the very last inch.Your face is flushed, and your name is on the tongues of people who've never really met your heart.

And what could you do? I know that when I would get mad, I would write about it. It helped me vent my feelings, and even unmask a little about myself. But what about you? Did you walk away? Forgive and forget?

God has forgiven, but he does not forget. In order to rebuild us, in order to recreate us and renew us in a sense that we can be spotless, God has forgiven. But what is grace if it was created for nothing? We have been forgiven. Not because of what we've done, but what was done for us. He took our mistakes. Our mistakes are still there. They still happened, and we will never be able to change that. But that spot where we broke down, that's where God reminds us that who we've been is not who we are. We are forgiven. We can still see our sin, but instead of shame, it is washed clean by the love of Jesus. Present, but blameless and purified by the blood of the lamb. Forgiven, not forgotten, but changed for the better.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that it is so easy to count the faults of other people, because for some stupid reason, we think that just because of Grace, we are flawless. Well, newsflash: JESUS is the only SPOTLESS, blameless, and flawless person. Yes, we've been forgiven, but there was something that we did that needed to be forgive in order to make us clean again. God sent his Son for all of us so that we may be saved. So that we may freely rejoice in the secure hope of never again having to earn Heaven or love. It was laid out before us. Jesus is just a taste of all eternity, and look how amazing He is.

Just think next time. Try and stop yourself. Because your degrading words demean the crazy fantastic gift of grace God has given us. Everyone deserves a chance. In fact, they deserve 7 X70 times. Focus on using the tools God has equipped you with to rebuild the hearts of others for the better, and when you feel like you need to do a little tweeking to someone else, tear down your own wall of pride.

That is all. :)

Love Endlessly, seeking God in every moment.
Let Him consume you in a glory so unfathomable.
Cry out to the Healer.
Find your comfort and rest in Him.
Let your faith secure you with love and happienss.
Pray without ceasing
May God bless you today and always. <3

Why Jesus is my Favorite

Do you know who you are?

Maybe not. But I know who you are. You are important. :) Jesus has seen you grow, did you know that?

Think back a little.. To the darkest night.
Remember being there? Remember the feeling of complete and utter hopelessness? And what could you do but cry. You were so broken on this night. Even the darkness felt your sorrow, as the heavy air that weighed on you only pushed the tears more. All curled up. All alone.

But guess what? On that bed you were laying on, in the midst of your completely broken heart, Jesus was there. He saw how dark the night was. He saw the tears you shed. He sat there and He held you. He wept with you. Do you remember? Close your eyes. You can see him there now. You remember.
And when the crying ceased and the numbness crept in, Jesus gave you one second of peace. For one second, everything all compiled in the mess of everything went away. And there you were. A child once again. You needed someone bigger. Someone who could reach the top shelf for you. Someone to give you a curfew and someone who would remain consistent while the rest of your broken life shattered all around you.

And maybe you couldn't see Him, but he was working. He was preparing His path for you. And guess what? He still is :)

I know who you are. You are someone valuable, beautiful, and absolutely wonderful, whether you think so or not. And Jesus? Oh man does He love you. I mean, look. How far you've come from that dark night. There will be more, unfortunately. But I pray that you will find peace in knowing that wherever you might end up, God has a purpose for your life, and never ever will you be abandoned. There's no room too dark for Jesus. There's no heart too broken, no mind too messed up, and certainly there is no running away from His love and Glory. :)

God bless you all.
I pray that God will equip you to triumph in His name this weekend, whatever plans He has set out for you. And never forget you are loved. <3


It has been a long time.. But here is my new post. Hopefully this is something that I will continue to follow up with. You'll have to excuse my writing. I have a lot to say, and I am passionate about the words I want to express, but sometimes a million thoughts can crash together and my words can be a little jumbled. So we will see where this goes. :)

Faith. Faith means believing in things that can't be seen, right? I mean when you really think about it, it is a scary thing. When you put your faith in something, you are sticking up for something that cannot stand by logic alone. You're trusting in something deeper than merely what the eye can see. When you have faith in something, you are ultimately promising that 'thing' that you will stand by it, even when it seems like there is no way of success.

So what about faith in God? What can we say about that? We'll first and foremost, we can say that faith in the world we live in now is a really powerful thing. There are so many dark and scary things present, and there are so many people that will tell you that having faith in God is a waste of time. That it is something that will leave you hoping, and constantly blinded from the world around you.

The way that I see it is this: You can wake up and see the dark world around you, and you can be consumed by it. You can give it your heart, and you can let the world control it. It will constantly remind you of your failures, and the mistakes you have made. You will have to earn the 'love' that every human wants. And every day you will wake up wishing for something more. In a world without faith and grace, there is not a lot of joy. But what if that was not the choice we made? What if we woke up and searched for our purpose in that day? It's another day that someone out there needs to be reminded that they are loved, that they are beautiful and that they are valuable. We could spend our lives looking at all the bad things that are happening or have happened, or we could choose joy. We could choose to live for a greater purpose than ourselves. I think that the moment we choose to live for something bigger than ourselves, we find a different sense of joy. A joy that gives us hope that there's a little more to life than waking up to a sorrow-filled world everyday.

You have a purpose, and if you're willing, you better believe God is going to use you.
Seek him, and He will lead you.
Be blessed.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Where's the Love?

It's amazing how much time changes us, isn't it? I know that I am still young and that I still have such a long way to go, but I can already feel the change of it all. 

There's not really a point in your life where someone instructs exactly how to carry out the rest of your life. It's like your entire life you're raised in this safe haven; there's this immense sense of protection. All of the sudden, someone pushes you out of the nest. Now what?

Everything is turned upside down. People are trusting me with these... emotions.. These secrets and truths that I feel nowhere near old enough, let alone strong enough to carry. It is simply not a matter of maturity, but rather a concept I never prepared my mind to accept. I guess it escaped my childish eyes, passed me by. I didn't know how much hate there was. I didn't know that people hated to love, and loved to hate. I was just a kid. 

I am just a kid.. What do you want me to do? I am blessed. I have an amazing, hilarious, supportive family, who I would not trade for the world. My friends are phenomenal, and overall, the company of my life is rather tolerable. I have this God... A relationship with the Creator of the universe... But something isn't right. 

You see, I have this God. I have THE God. He's right here, in my heart, in my presence. He's revealing Himself to me constantly. My simple mind cannot fathom His love. I try so hard, but I've accepted the fact that it's nothing comparable to anything I may comprehend. God's message is love. He sent Jesus, and Jesus showed the world the love of God. As disciples of God, we, His children, are supposed to live in such a way that our actions overflow with the presence of God's love... But do they?

Maybe you can answer that question with a 'yes'. I hope you can. I know that when it comes to that question, I can easily say that is not the life I live. Am I proud of it? Of course not. 

I've fallen into conforming.. Unintentionally seeking the world's confirmation. Sticky consistency... A pattern is just so comfortable. But I have learned to accept the judgements that come against me, and have tried the best I can to eliminate constant judgements of my own. But where's the love? Where's the Christian kindness? So I am saved. I have my God. I know He loves and saves me. But do you? Have I purposely gone out of my way to ensure you have same kind of spiritual peace? What is the  point to my life if I live with only the intention to save my own life? All of these hearts I'm passing by. I'm watching them slip into the world.

Is that God's love?
Of course not. 
So I'm praying to God that I may open my eyes... That my heart will be softened. This life is not, nor will ever be about me. 
Praise God for the opportunity to love and to be loved. Let's embrace the gift He's bestowed upon us. 

God bless you. Love you :) 
1John 4:16

Sunday, October 14, 2012


Wait.. What?
No, stop. You have to stop this... You're missing the point. 
Can't you see?

I sat down, today. I opened my ears, I opened my heart, and here I stand.. Trying to comprehend this with an open mind. I'm trying so hard to understand. We discussed  a lot. There's this respect between you and I; an agreement to disagree. We can touch on a common base.. We're driven by another force. A higher power, and that's all we will say. 

But this is not okay. 
This can't be okay.

HOW? I sat as the words flowed over me. Like pouring water over a completely full sponge. I'm full. I thought you were too, but I watched the retention grow.. Now I just don't know. 

I'm going to tell you something.. I'm just trying to figure out how to go about it. 

There was a man. He was poor, and his life wasn't anything near what he deserved. He was made for a purpose... In every word, he spoke of a wisdom that could only be recognized if it was searched for. He hung on a cross, but he never committed a single crime. His hands were nailed into wood cut by his own people.. But in fact, they were never His people. He moved a stone. He rose up to a world we cannot fathom. He lived again. Again!! He LIVED. He lives.. 

So here you are. I'm sitting here, watching you neatly unfold your check-off list. You've worked so hard. You're great. So nice, caring, healthy. You have everything... Except for.. a lot. I just want to ask you a question.. Do you know what grace is?

Yes, of course. Grace is.. forgiveness. Is it? 

Do you want to know what I think grace is? I think grace is the darkest moment. All alone, curled up. Shattered-heart, and no words. The second you realize that you can't take anything back. You feel like the lowest of the low.. Recounting your mistakes, you can't believe you gave in again. Placing trust upon an unsteady foundation, you shattered without effort. Crumbling upon the world who finds it so  easy to disregard your broken heart. It's the feeling in your heart. All cried out, you find yourself in a peaceful solitude. Everything seems a little more clear. God is near. 

You're forgiven. Did you know that? There is nothing you have done that God hasn't already forgiven. There are things that you're going to do tomorrow, and God has already given you His mercy. You are saved. You have been saved.. Won't you just recognize it? You're making something so simple  so complex.. And I just don't understand it. 

God Loves You. You have been redeemed. Saved. You just have to acknowledge it. Will you please accept it? Just take it. Accept the gracious gift you've been given. I love you too much to let you live this way.. God has a greater purpose for you. 

He's opened the gate.. All you have to do now is run to Him. 

God Bless. :) 
Mark 8:36

Sunday, September 23, 2012

New Life; No worries

Everything needs to be so official. Wise words, a firm structure. I'm struggling lately, trying to find out who I am. No one mentioned how hard this was going to be..

A happy face. This isn't the place to breakdown. Strong words. You can only speak with complete certainty. With so much inconsistency, how can I be certain of anything? The list of guidelines continues to grow. I'm trying so hard to make the cut. I just want to be respected as an individual. I will not go so far as to change my moral mindset to get what I want, but I'm struggling to find the in-between. Is there an in-between?

I am young. I have my entire life ahead of me. There's so much potential, they keep telling me. As I get older, I am recognizing more and more negativity that somehow passed me by as a child. I never knew how much hate there was in the world. Innocent lives taken, accidents, nothing can truly be apprehended. God hit me hard. 

I can't say for certain where I was, or what exactly I was doing. What I know is that my entire mindset was shifted backwards completely. My heart began to ache for so many people.. It was like I gained this immense sense of sympathy in my soul. I didn't know.. I didn't recognize the impact of my words before. I didn't know she was listening to the words I spoke; I never knew she regarded me as some form of role-model. All I knew was that I was getting so tired of playing a role I was never made to be. I had worked so hard to create this person.. this girl who was tough, sarcastic, and rarely showed what she really felt. I strayed away from talking about God so openly- in attempt to avoid any conflict. She was fine. I was fine. I made a lot of friends, who all had differing beliefs. I worked hard to remain neutral. I knew God, in my heart. But I figured that was for my heart only. 

Something wasn't right. He knew it, too. God hit me hard. 

An epiphany hit me. My heart longed to read my bible.. I wanted to talk about some of the things I never really understood. It was a transformation I could have never foreseen. It was beautiful.. Like the words that I read were directed toward me personally. The Bible verse that stuck with me the most, in the beginning, was Matthew 6:34. No worries.. No worries? How do you take that? If someone would have come up to me during the earlier years of my life and told me not to worry, I would have assumed they were insane. It seemed nearly impossible to not worry. School, friends, all of the worries of a teenage mind.. and No worries? It stuck with me, though. I found a peace greater than just a worry-less mind. It was a worry-less soul. God hit me hard. 

I can explain the revival I went through. It was an intense passion that made my entire being ache for the presence of God. It made me question how it was so easy for me to breathe before knowing God so intimately.. How did I live so comfortably? The answer to that question is simple. I didn't. I was uncertain, broken, and so very lonely. 

God has brought me so many opportunities in my life. A Bible study at my school, an amazing youth group and church when I was growing up, and amazing group of people I would not trade the world for. I have grown up now (for the most part ;)) and my perspective on life has changed completely. I fear God instead of the stupid worries of this world. I have this confident hope that there is a greater place in which I will truly belong. I have placed my life and everything I am into Greater Hands. I know that with God things will not necessarily be easier, but they sure will be worth it. I live my life with a greater purpose, because I have realized this life isn't my own. There's this bigger picture, and it's beautiful. There's this greater love, and it never fails. I will not be abandoned. I am forgiven. 

So today, I will love. I will live in complete and utter awe toward the One and only God who Lives, Loves, forgives, and who saves. 

Awake, Alive, and Blessed. I have all I need.<3
Praise God, keeper of my heart. 
Psalm 27:4 :) 

Saturday, September 22, 2012


This has been on my heart lately..

We live in a chaotic world. Is there any other way to truly put it? This world.. is not a healthy place to live. God says that we, as His children, are fearfully and wonderfully made. Each of is unique in respect to the mind of the Creator. We each have a unique purpose..

If every one of us is made with our own uniqueness and speciality, why then do we judge others?
Take one second and think about it. How easy has it become for each of us to judge another person? Whether it is by occupation, lifestyle, appearance, etc. We judge people constantly. It seems almost impossible to not judge someone.

Why do we judge people? I think it's because we work so hard as individuals to create an image of who we want to be personally, and any other individual that does not measure up for the standards we've set for ourself fits perfectly to be judged. Is that fair to say? If you hate your haircut, will you not look at the hair of others and judge it based upon your ideal of 'good hair'? They same can be said for people. If you are not happy with your heart, or the place it is in, you will find yourself constantly judging other people and their own relationships with their hearts.

Matthew7:1-5 says: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye', when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

So what does this mean to us? How can we accept other people for who they are?
The answer to this is: we can accept who other people are the moment we learn to accept who we are. 

How can you accept you for who you are?
The answer to this one is simple enough: We can accept who we are when we accept who God is and who we are through Him.

One last Bible verse I found to be extremely relevant to this topic is:

John8:14-18-"These claims are valid even though I make them about myself. For I know where I come from and where I am going, but you don't know this about me. You judge me by human standards, but I do not judge anyone. And if I did, my judgement would be correct in every respect because I am not alone. The Father who sent me is with me. Your own law says that id two people agree about something, their witness is accepted as a fact."

We need to determine whether or not we are judging people based upon our human standards, or if we are leaving the judgement up to God.

Every person has a heart. They have a soul, and God loves them. They were made fearfully and wonderfully. They have purpose. So any judgments against them should be reconsidered. We all sin the same. It is not a scale of better or worse. We are among our equals. We worship this amazing God who loves us past everything we are not. Why waste our time together by judgement?

Amen and God bless, brothers and sisters!
Peace be with you always. :)