Monday, October 29, 2012

Where's the Love?

It's amazing how much time changes us, isn't it? I know that I am still young and that I still have such a long way to go, but I can already feel the change of it all. 

There's not really a point in your life where someone instructs exactly how to carry out the rest of your life. It's like your entire life you're raised in this safe haven; there's this immense sense of protection. All of the sudden, someone pushes you out of the nest. Now what?

Everything is turned upside down. People are trusting me with these... emotions.. These secrets and truths that I feel nowhere near old enough, let alone strong enough to carry. It is simply not a matter of maturity, but rather a concept I never prepared my mind to accept. I guess it escaped my childish eyes, passed me by. I didn't know how much hate there was. I didn't know that people hated to love, and loved to hate. I was just a kid. 

I am just a kid.. What do you want me to do? I am blessed. I have an amazing, hilarious, supportive family, who I would not trade for the world. My friends are phenomenal, and overall, the company of my life is rather tolerable. I have this God... A relationship with the Creator of the universe... But something isn't right. 

You see, I have this God. I have THE God. He's right here, in my heart, in my presence. He's revealing Himself to me constantly. My simple mind cannot fathom His love. I try so hard, but I've accepted the fact that it's nothing comparable to anything I may comprehend. God's message is love. He sent Jesus, and Jesus showed the world the love of God. As disciples of God, we, His children, are supposed to live in such a way that our actions overflow with the presence of God's love... But do they?

Maybe you can answer that question with a 'yes'. I hope you can. I know that when it comes to that question, I can easily say that is not the life I live. Am I proud of it? Of course not. 

I've fallen into conforming.. Unintentionally seeking the world's confirmation. Sticky consistency... A pattern is just so comfortable. But I have learned to accept the judgements that come against me, and have tried the best I can to eliminate constant judgements of my own. But where's the love? Where's the Christian kindness? So I am saved. I have my God. I know He loves and saves me. But do you? Have I purposely gone out of my way to ensure you have same kind of spiritual peace? What is the  point to my life if I live with only the intention to save my own life? All of these hearts I'm passing by. I'm watching them slip into the world.

Is that God's love?
Of course not. 
So I'm praying to God that I may open my eyes... That my heart will be softened. This life is not, nor will ever be about me. 
Praise God for the opportunity to love and to be loved. Let's embrace the gift He's bestowed upon us. 

God bless you. Love you :) 
1John 4:16

Sunday, October 14, 2012


Wait.. What?
No, stop. You have to stop this... You're missing the point. 
Can't you see?

I sat down, today. I opened my ears, I opened my heart, and here I stand.. Trying to comprehend this with an open mind. I'm trying so hard to understand. We discussed  a lot. There's this respect between you and I; an agreement to disagree. We can touch on a common base.. We're driven by another force. A higher power, and that's all we will say. 

But this is not okay. 
This can't be okay.

HOW? I sat as the words flowed over me. Like pouring water over a completely full sponge. I'm full. I thought you were too, but I watched the retention grow.. Now I just don't know. 

I'm going to tell you something.. I'm just trying to figure out how to go about it. 

There was a man. He was poor, and his life wasn't anything near what he deserved. He was made for a purpose... In every word, he spoke of a wisdom that could only be recognized if it was searched for. He hung on a cross, but he never committed a single crime. His hands were nailed into wood cut by his own people.. But in fact, they were never His people. He moved a stone. He rose up to a world we cannot fathom. He lived again. Again!! He LIVED. He lives.. 

So here you are. I'm sitting here, watching you neatly unfold your check-off list. You've worked so hard. You're great. So nice, caring, healthy. You have everything... Except for.. a lot. I just want to ask you a question.. Do you know what grace is?

Yes, of course. Grace is.. forgiveness. Is it? 

Do you want to know what I think grace is? I think grace is the darkest moment. All alone, curled up. Shattered-heart, and no words. The second you realize that you can't take anything back. You feel like the lowest of the low.. Recounting your mistakes, you can't believe you gave in again. Placing trust upon an unsteady foundation, you shattered without effort. Crumbling upon the world who finds it so  easy to disregard your broken heart. It's the feeling in your heart. All cried out, you find yourself in a peaceful solitude. Everything seems a little more clear. God is near. 

You're forgiven. Did you know that? There is nothing you have done that God hasn't already forgiven. There are things that you're going to do tomorrow, and God has already given you His mercy. You are saved. You have been saved.. Won't you just recognize it? You're making something so simple  so complex.. And I just don't understand it. 

God Loves You. You have been redeemed. Saved. You just have to acknowledge it. Will you please accept it? Just take it. Accept the gracious gift you've been given. I love you too much to let you live this way.. God has a greater purpose for you. 

He's opened the gate.. All you have to do now is run to Him. 

God Bless. :) 
Mark 8:36